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First and foremost, if they're a screen printing company, they'll be hard pressed to do the gradients and shadows on their own products. I think it'll be best to keep the clean version on the 2nd row.
This may be personal opinion here, however:
I don't like the colour combination. The grey is rather weak against the yellow. If you're using yellow i'd suggest a more contrasting colour like black.
I'm also not huge on the font. It's along the right lines I think. It needs to be a chunky font, but I'm just not huge on it.
I would also try another treatment on the typography. Maybe try it on one line, or ensure the letters are better spaced on the 2nd line.
What does the badge on the left represent? I get the T-Shirt, but is it a badge for the sake of a badge? Perhaps it's a bit car-like with a badge?
Just running off thoughts... hope it helps!
