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- move the punchline 'crating polished diamonds...' under the logo. by the way, this punchline is kind of cheesy.
- add a header for the page something like 'enroll in...'
- too much gray, add some yellow may be- light yellow.
- i would add a label for the text box (Your Email) and maybe rename send button to 'submit'
- move the punchline 'crating polished diamonds...' under the logo. by the way, this punchline is kind of cheesy.
designsessions.png
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1
Headline doesn't feel like a headline
This is lovely but is in a headline position and is more like a subhead. The logo acts as a headline in itself but I think moving this further down and maybe look at using your fonts used in the logo to have a headline which ties in with the logo. It will help give the entire page a bit more focus and punch
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2
Positioning of headline
Also the positioning of the headline feels off - it's very close to the top of the page. It would be nice to see it better linked with the logo so the page starts to feel a bit more unified
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3
This intro and bullet pointed paragraph works well as it is
I like the bold part pulled out in the sans bold and the bullet points under are nicely spaced. I'd maybe look at using bullet points which feel a little more designed rather than default but overall this bit is fine.
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4
Starting to get too many font weights/sizes going on
I think it would be better to use the sans bold again here. Otherwise there are just too many instances of too many different sizes/weights etc of font when you have a very simple message to put across. The italics feels out of place too.
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5
Button very large and not aligned to the form input field
The form input field isn't aligned on the left with the copy above it. Plus the send button is out of line horizontally with the form field. The whole page would do better for these to be aligned and smaller.
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6
Maybe look at putting the colour also in the logo
If onlyl in the type around the border. The page is calling out for the highlight colour to be over here too so your eye is pulled through the page with the colour. You'd get a nice zig-zag shape running through from the primary point through the Send call to action to the Twitter call to action at the bottom
Thanks for the quick advice, will just note that the 'punchline' is a play on 'student gems', a competitor offering similar opportunities to students...