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"lastest research" should be latest research
First para- "I used to be..." the english needs to be tidied up
Transform your Weight time money - maybe put weight time and money in in a differend colour - maybe the burnt ochre type colour you have highlihgting the 3rd para text. - Actually why not go for "Transform your life"
I like the way you've done the contact details
"After extensive studying"... how about changes the sentence round to be more punchy "I have lost 6 stones, I have more energy and enjoy more quality time with my children since I started applying the latest time management and weight loss research to my own life"
I don't really like the little dancing fat people you could drop them for a cleaner design. -
"3" should be spelt out
I'm not a fan of the logo to be honest - i see what you're trying to do with the negative space making the little dancing women.
I like the font used in Vitality mums - nice and clean
It may just be how it has rendered here but the font on the back of the card doesn't render properly.
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Garden Book commented:
Rendering on finished card is good it is just when converted and uploaded for you to see. Sorry about poor typing skills and spelling.
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Chris Arthur commented:i would remove the dancers from the front and back
i see what you mean about 'life' but you might want to try to think of something punchier
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Thanks -Yes 3 should be three. -Your long sentence sounds good also.
-Do you mean remove the 3 dancing ladies on the front of back of the card? -The English is aimed as being conversational and not precise. "I used to be..." but will look at changing the wording. - Transform your life is a good idea. Trying to avoid the word life and people don't want you to work on their life and what do you mean about giving me advice on my life??? Specifying weight, time and money shows exactly the areas being looked at and not just your whole life. Using life will put people off. I have did some market research on this and I am avoiding using the word life. Please comment on my comments.