Direct Mail Post Card

I think the basic idea works well. I can't imagine a school risk manager getting this in the mail and not being lured into turning the card over. I disagree with the reviewer who doesn't like the "ALLERGY" bar font and color; I think the contrast is what makes the design work. And I can't imagine any more information causing more people to look at the back of the card.

One decision I definitely don't agree with is making "ALLERGY" so hard to read. It dampens the urgency of the warning when it's visually muffled like this.

I prefer the two "naturalistic" letters (P and E) to the digitally welded letters. I don't know if it would be practical to form the other letters by butting the ends naturally, but I think obvious digital trickery would distract people from the message in this case.

This may not be fair, but I took a star off the purpose rating because the Web site appears to be a blog and there is no obvious way to find anything about any topic besides doing a search.

The idea itself is indeed very good, yet the part where it says "Allergy" shouldn't be placed there (or at least not that way, the red and the font type are very "agressive").

Also, maybe it should have more info regarding the subject?

Everything else is perfect :)

I get what you're trying to do from your description, but I'm not sure this card would do it if I got it in the mail. I hope these comments will help.

I didn't think "oh, there's a peanut allergy danger that I should be concerned about" when I saw your card. I thought "this design looks awkward for some reason, and I guess it must be about peanut allergy, somehow." First I'll talk about the message, then the awkwardness of the design.

How about the message "Danger! There are peanut-allergy risks at your child's school." ...?

This opens up the possibility of using a graphic of a bunch of peanuts in the background, and a big iconic "danger" sign in front of them.

Or how about the iconic school-lunch tray (say with the mini carton of milk on it), sitting on the iconic school-lunch table, and perhaps a big pile of peanuts on the plate. Headline "Peanut Allergy", copy "Find out if your allergic child is safe at school." For ideas on what you could make it look like, watch the opening credits to "Napoleon Dynamite."

If you're married to the design trick you're trying to accomplish --- spelling "Peanut" with peanuts (although I'm not sure what that says about there being a peanut-allergy risk at my child's school) --- then the awkwardness of this design is that the peanuts in the "P" are three times the size of the other peanuts. That breaks it; peanuts should be peanut-sized, and if there are different-sized peanuts on the page, it's obvious that you're "playing with Photoshop." It makes this look amateurish to me. If you want me to take you seriously, you can't let amateurish design like this get out there to represent you; this MUST be fixed. Try using three times as many peanuts, instead.

But I really think you'll have a more successful campaign if you instantly, visually, say "Danger! There are peanut-allergy risks at your child's school." All you've said here is "Peanut Allergy," and without context it's unlikely that the recipients will care about this.

It should be more dynamic, the e doesn't really look like an "e". Try something that would interrupt the process of growing a peanut, for example. Like, maybe when someone tries to eat it or something...

I don't think this post card evokes emotion. If you want to evoke emotion, show a scene with a children:

• Maybe a child experiencing a peant allergy

• Or a lunch room scene of a child with a peanut allergy surrounded by children whose lunches contain foods with peanuts highlighted in some way. ("the hidden danger..." type of message..."what you don't know can hurt you...")

• or a lineup of foods with a headline, which of these foods could kill a child? (Answer - all of them)...

Also, "Peanut allergy" is a statement, not a calll to action. Add a strong headline followed by a call to action ("5 things you need to know about...Go to www.." or "The hidden dangers of ... Go to www....") You need some type of message that lets your audience know they are going to learn something they don't already know.

This is a powerful topic that EVERY school deals with. Good luck!!

Nice work on the peanuts, but I would probably throw it away instantly because it isn't immediately clear what it's about (and it think it does need to be clear).

I think it would be nice if you enlarged ALLERGY to size 'huge' and increased the letter spacing and placed it under an angle of about 30 degrees in the whitespace area. You have so much whitespace that could be utilized to catch attention.

I think "Allergy" may get more importance, which is your purpose. The P is too big comparing the rest of the letters.

I love the idea, but from my point of view, some changes in the design should me made. But Congrats, i like the idea!

I do like the imagery used and it's well designed but if you’re key measurement is hits on your webpage I would consider using the shock factor to illicit action.

Depending on the sensitivities of your audience you could use the image of a prostrate child on the floor. “No one likes a dead child” You could then have several peanuts on the floor beside the child. Consider the “risk factor” to staff members if they get it wrong a child could die as a result.

You want them to be shocked enough to take action or visit your site to find out how they could stop this happening at their school. Focus on what will make them really think “If I don’t do this I could kill a kid”.

Good luck.

Hi Steve:

OK. I know this project has been open awhile, and I'm not sure whose advice you have taken thus far and what, if anything, you have changed in your design. I'm also assuming this will be a printed postcard with the pertinent details on the other side.

That said, here are some of my thoughts.

• I don't think you need to use peanuts to spell the word peanut. It's a redundancy that I think you should consider avoiding. However, if you are sold on this style of typography, I would consider making the peanut the same size in every instance, in every letter. I saw a newspaper design once that used bird seeds to create the shape of a bird. Granted, bird seeds are a lot smaller, but you might try reducing the size of the peanuts and using little "piles" or groupings to create each letter.
• Consider filling the entire image with peanuts (all the same size) and overlay a smaller box of text, or just the word allergy--whichever you decided. Sticking with the red like you have now is good. Alternately, you could take a word like "warning" or even "allergy" and style it so that it looks as if it has been stamped in red over top the peanuts (hope that makes sense).
• Contrast my previous suggestion entirely and use one small peanut in the center, or slightly below center of the postcard. In small, centered type (set above or below the peanut), place your "allergy warning" text. There have been some really good suggestions here for headlines. I'd consider using one. Another thing to accompany this design is a slight radial gradient, from white in center to light gray on the edges. This creates visual interest, enhanced focus on the peanut and guides the eye through the piece.

OK, I know you've been hit with loads of comments and suggestions. I hope you'll consider my remarks as nothing more than constructive criticism, and please share any updated designs. I'd love to see what you decide.

Take care, Josh

I'm not quite sure what this is all about by just looking at it, which is a problem, I don't really know if it invokes emotion either, It just seems to say "Peanut Allergy"

I don't like the large "P" for one thing, the peanuts are huge, they don't match the others, and another thing is the shadows are all different. Not just on the "P" but on everything, that should be fixed

I like the idea itself. Don't like the big P letter and leaning N. It is too packed in the space for me. Maybe you could try to write it across the middle of the page and put a short message underneath expleaining what is this all about. Play a bit more with the shadows cause they are not the same. One is on bottom and another at left side of the peanut. It doesn't look realistic.