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Concept Reviews
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Just picking some details here, but I really like the look of this, it definitely draws my attention.
is the thread supposed to be within the beak of the crow ? I would make it go over the bottom half of it.
the first E in Celebratory comes too close to the L because of the italic...
the 'follow the thread" sentence could be following the thread, rather than doing a smiley, to reinforce the concept...
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Jonathan Butko commented:Carole, Yes the thread would go through the beak - I did these in about 2 hours starting at 3am so admittedly it's thrown together with little details like that being left for later - I am glad you were looking at enough to catch it though! - thanks
Thanks for the type critique I appreciate it!
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Good job
I think as it goes its a nice piece
I could nitpick but I think print is a lot more subjective than web stuff
I like what you've done with the type although I think you could pick some better typefaces that would complement each other within that block. But its nice and it works.
I think for my taste there is a little too much going on and the composition could be worked on a bit... I'm kind of struggling with a focal point.
Id like to see the block of text moved up a touch so we can see the a to b a bit better.
The thread and bird are cool but it'd be nice if the thread was brought around the text - maybe even circling it before it goes into the birds mouth as to group the text and make this a strong focal point (move bird above text and centre text within brown bit of cover)
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Wow.
This is really beautiful work. I love the typography and the concept behind it.
I would possibly move the 'Straight' up a little as the leading is v tight in between the top two lines compared to the rest of the block of text.
I'm assuming the two pages shown on the second image should work as a spread rather than as single pages?
I love the wavy line going across and this works very well but the spread isn't working for me with those two images, the quote on the left and the content on top of the image on the right. I think it could have more impact with a single image going across the whole spread - also I'm not keen on the quote interfering so much with the man's face.
I'd like to see the background extended on his face and the quote moved to the right hand page. If the information on top of the current right hand image has to stay - maybe make a single column on the right hand page in the top area with the background image as the one which is currently on the right hand page and just simplify the presentation of this information a little.
I have to say this is me being ultra picky - it really is beautiful work. As you can see I've given full five stars across.
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Jonathan Butko commented:
Emma, I don't think you're being ultra picky at all - I appreciate your input (and compliments) - and that is why we're all here anyway. Yes that is a 2 page spread. I like the idea of having a single image bridging the 2 pages - i'll look into that. Agree on the quote - it isn't sitting right yet.
Thanks!
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Reduce Font types to max of three and that is through out the book and not each chunk of text.
The crow does not look like a crow coz it has white feathers and is not comletely black.
The crow string concept did not get communicated untill i read your description. See if u can still use the string the visually string the contents together.
All caps for "Follow the thread..." difficult to read. Have caps only for starting letters.
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Emma Simpson commented:The usual rules are of course to use three fonts maximum. This is where when you know the rules well enough you can break them at times when it works.
This works with all the different fonts - it's such a hard thing to pull off but Jonathan has done it.
Also this is a print piece, not for web. Follow the thread will work in print. Although having said that was going to add in my review to watch on the proof whether the white out text prints out ok and reads on the right hand page of the spread. It's hard to tell on screen if it will work or not.
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Emma Simpson commented:
Also sorry to be so disagreeable tonight - lol but the crow looks like a crow to me. It's an old etching style illustration so it wouldn't necessarily be all black plus there is an 'a' at the top and a 'b' at the bottom and a line connecting the two so the path from a to b in a straight line plus a bird carrying the thread of history to follow. When the bird is positioned directly next to the words As the Crow Flies, I get that it's supposed to be a crow.
Again sorry I disagree - I've only put my disagreement up for Jonathan to read as I really like this concept and I was so suprised when I read your review because the idea that the message wasn't communicated well didn't even enter my head and I got it without reading the description first. It will be interesting to see how other people see the concept.
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Very good mix of materials look a colors. The choise of typograph is perfect. Good work
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WOW very nice.
only one problem, is the text where you have that time line readable ? Because I can't tell from the screenshot.
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I like this design a lot. If I saw this it would stop me in my tracks to take a closer look. Great job
PS: the crow does look like a crow to me too.