like the concept but may be i feel somethng is missing in both the stuff...i guess watch more contemporary logos on the web then i am sure u will get some more better idea...BOL!!
the shape, colours, and typography... nothing attracts me. more work needed.
plus, if you could tell, at least, what this imaginary company is doing, it'd be more helpful to criticize.
Your typography is also suffering a bit. I would try and go super simple on the object. Colors are also a little lacking. The blue and grays aren't different enough and the blend together. I know this is a bit harsh but I hopes it helps you move in the right direction.
The color is clashing...