ZoomConcept Reviews
Summary:
Hi Alex,
You are excellent as usual... once again I'm loving it.
One quick question... It a 40 year old company, I read it on their website so keeping that point in mind your illustration and concept must look modern and trendy?
Your character found a 40 year old Coupon so it's obvious to keep the retro feel for coupon, however, your character are people of modern era.
Thanks, Haider
Minor Problem on BACK 1 don't care for this "mustardy" color ( once again ) -
Alex Colina commented:I just realized...CF changes colors on you in the JPG process. Some colors are more susceptible that others and "Mustrady" is apparently the "black hole" color pulling any color the is even close (in this case a lovely light GREEN) into it.s gravitational yuckiness. (in the PowerCloset concept..the "mustardy" was closer to cream originally)
2 just a thought, what if you had the dude bolting for the door? as if he couldn't wait to use the coupon? -
Alex Colina commented:
yeah actually..but this was funnier :-)
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Tim Sullivan commented:I agree with Alex. A guy bolting for the door would be literal. This, though, is funny!
3 using periods between the numbers seems more modern than retro.... -
Alex Colina commented:
OH GEEEZZ...I actually was struggling with that. that is why they have a shadow (out of place since nothing else does) Because it did not feel retro to me.. WOW..you hit the nail on the head!
Critical Problem on BACK 1 "just hurry" sounds awkward. Maybe, "C'mon, Call Now!" or something similar. Positive Feature on BACK 1 ok, this message is very well done, any audience would grasp what you're wanting to convey. Summary:
Hey Alex - Questions:
who is the target audience? I get that it's print only, but who will be receiving?
I think they're both hilarious, but that's because I know your type of humor. Would your target audience get it?
also, where would the actual printable coupon come into play?
My comments are on the 2nd concept....please see my notes...
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Summary:
Over all, I like this. I think you succeeded in making it a vintage ad. I'm not sure about the font and the speech box.
Summary:
I liked the Second one as compare to first one because of the following reasons
1st options have has too much of text clatter, I had taken almost a min to understand what exactly this ad want to Conway. Where as in 2nd option it is much clear and less texty. Within 15Sec I came to know what is all about.
When I think of a target audience with different age group,(children, teenagers, old peoples) I think 2nd option will conway the message quickly and easily .
The text "Expires January 2012" directly hits to your brain, which is missing in option 1.
The background color used in the 2nd option support the retro fell, which is missing in the 1st option.
Minor Problem on FRONT 1 These business guys don’t drop the subjects from their sentences. 2 Awkward white space. 3 These business guys don’t drop the subjects from their sentences. Serious Problem on FRONT 1 The yellow badge gets lost on the white bg. Serious Problem on BACK 1 Either change to a standard speech bubble or increase the contrast between the bubble and the background. As it is, the rays are getting lost. Critical Problem on FRONT 1 These are not LOL guys. Give them a big hearty laugh... “Ha ha ha” -
Alex Colina commented:
good idea. that would be funny too...
Positive Feature on BACK 1 Love the simplicity of your illustration. -
Alex Colina commented:
not my illustrations, I did simplify and colors period art, but not my illustrations. They are fantastic though.
2 Hilarious! New Idea on BACK 1 Using a light tint for the background would help unify the composition and make the thought bubble stand out. (Not just in the area I have selected, but across the entire design.) Summary:
I am struggling with the dialogue. Its a mishmash of linguistic styles. "Yo" – urban hip-hop; "way/no way" – valley girl; "Dude" – surf culture; "LOL" – internet aficionado. I know these are generalizations and that all of these groups use expressions that overlap. (Though I don't know as if people from the hip-hop scene would ever use LOL even online, let alone actually say it!) But for the purpose of creating a quick character sketch, it would be better to use consistent language.
Adding to this language problem is the fact that the characters do not appear to belong to any of these groups.
I really question using Yo Foster. Will your audience read this and think, "Ah, this is not related to me" and move on?
I don't like that the white speech bubbles overlap a white background. "Yo Foster" almost feels separated from the rest of the design. Either add a tint to the bubbles or to the background.
The retro style works really good for a coupon and your message. And the humor wells up a big LOL inside me.
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Alex Colina commented:
They are all FANTASTIC POINTS. You read it right, the funny IS that the contexts are all wrong..these two stuffy looking guys trying to jive and getting it hopelessly wrong....
However, I overdid it, so it is hopelessly confusing...
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Summary:
Alex
I like them both but the font is not right for this type of advert, I reckon you should look here, to get the right type of font: http://www.losttype.com/browse/
Also look on www.dribbble.com and look under tag "typography" I think this will help you as far as design feel and style!
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Alex Colina commented:
WOW! losttype.com is amazing. thanks
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