ZoomConcept Reviews
Summary:
I think it's clever and visually interesting, and I would work with it. I think it would be compelling enough to get a prospect to pick it up and turn the page/turn it over for more info.
However, I'm not sure about the man in the suit. Your target is real estate professionals, but that dark suit with a white shirt I think is not the right image. My very first thought was undertaker! Or stuffy banker or lawyer! Then there's no tie, which leads to a kind of cognitive dissonance - who would wear a dark, formal suit with a starched white shirt and no tie?
I realize this is an abstract concept and I'm not suggesting you turn it into a dumbed down, literal translation. But perception is reality!
Speaking of perceptions, there are negative connotations of people in pockets. So it may be considered (subliminally of course) that these people are in Comfort Air's pocket in a negative way, like the idiom of having somebody in your pocket for illegal or unethical purposes. Or they could be 'lining the pockets' which is never good, but especially in the context of a construction project.
All that said, I still like the concept, only with some tweaking. Like a different kind of pocket - maybe a sportcoat, or a nice shirt that's tailored but not all wihte and formal and starched. And I would have a good tagline at the bottom to 'guide' the reader's perception.
Otherwise, good idea Alex!
-
-
Alex Colina commented:
Pocket is gone. Please let me know what you think of this.
-
Cate commented:Hi Alex, in combination with Steve's comments... that's why I advised the addition of a succinct 'tagline' description on the cover. I know a lot of designers are loathe to add words, and I also know a picture is supposed to say 1000 words. But as we're discussing, they can be the wrong words!
It seems to me, after reading more of your comments, that the second approach, the army knife, one tool/one place for all you need, is a better one. It's fun, I smiled seeing all those little construction guys, and it tells me they're all in one place. Plus an army knife itself is a tool.
It might work to stay with 'more than air conditioning' as the only text on the cover, especially if that is the brand awareness your audience has for the client. Otherwise I might build on it a bit, focusing on the real purpose of this brochure, the 'call to action' you want from your audience.
Good luck, and I hope you'll share the final piece...
Cate
PS Thanks for the vote!
-
Steve Osborne commented:The Swiss Army Knife has definitely got legs. You've got a truck-load of retouching to do to pull it off well, but if it works, the concept is a winner.
The only problem now is the disconnect between the company name/logo and the idea that they have all manner of trade services. It's not enough to say "More than air-conditioning". All that does is repeat the very thing you don't want to emphasize. So if you can swing it, delete the name/logo from the front cover altogether (make an argument that it's not needed) and put in a headline like: Trade Services At Your Fingertips.
The result will be a direct focus on the benefits you want to feature, rather than confusion from estate agents who are seeing this/coming into contact with CA for the first time.
-
Summary:
Hi Alex
Thanks for the invite to comment. I haven't been around on CF for quite a while, so it's nice to be remembered!
I agree somewhat with Cate in that having someone "in your pocket" is a potential negative. But that's not the main problem for me, from a strategic view.
The first question to answer is: What's the specific benefit?
If I cover the logo and descriptor phrase at the bottom, I don't actually know what you're talking about. The visual does not tell me anything identifiable as a compelling reason to read further. What exactly is easy? Is the firm easy to contact? Easy to deal with? Easy to negotiate on price?
Which begs the question: is "easy" the principal differentiator? I'm guessing the most powerful benefit for your audience is something that hits the hip pocket nerve. Does the remodeling increase value? By how much? Prove to me that I'm going to make more money (I'm in real estate remember!) and you have my complete and undivided attention.
Are competitors "hard" to deal with? ie. if CA and two competitors are being considered for a job, which one wins – the "easy" one; the "fast" one; or the one that delivers higher returns on investment?
If after you've worked through all that and you decide "easy" is the Offer, it's time to address the message.
What specifically is easy? The imagery is a false benefit. Any decent trades-person can be reached quickly and "easily" on the phone. So being "in the pocket" is somewhat dubious. What specifically is so difficult that makes CA easy? Do the 3 trades pictured signify a "one-stop" buying method? If so, say so.
In summary, I'd completely revise the offer, assuming "increased value" is going to attract the most attention from your targets. The way to do that is by being specific eg. a headline like this:
How to add an additional 2.45% to every sale you make
Now you've got their attention, you can cleverly lay out the detail on the inside pages:
Adding value to your sales stock is as easy as 1, 2 ... there's no 3.
Just my .02 cents worth. Hope it helps.
-
Steve Osborne commented:
Addendum: don't be concerned about the target "identifying" themselves. You don't need to waste space on showing them at all. If the brochure is only being given to realtors, they already know you're talking to them.
-
Alex Colina commented:
Great questions. Fantastic review, thanks. That is exactly what I am hoping for. It is a silly pun, a thounge-in-cheek and surprising visual, it stands out from direct offers, sales and the "come-on-down" clutter...but primarily it generates curiosity.
The second agenda here is that CA has never done any of this formally. Strangely they have done it for years because they are helpful and don't like to leave money on the table. So this is a bit of a coming out. letting all know they do this.
Value-wise they are competitive, but not cheap, a price war is not their style. The owner said to me: "Alex, my clients know I'm not the cheapest guy, but things get done, I've even put up draperies"
However you will glad to know that the Inside of the brochure addresses things from the stance you suggest!.
Re:target "identifying". Good point, but what I meant was "for this particular concept of pulling tradespeople to work, the pulling character cannot obviously be a cook or an astronaut that is all"
This sort of creative back and forth is very useful.
-
Steve Osborne commented:
Alex, I understand what you're saying from CA's view. They want realtors o know they do more than just construction. But my main point is that the visual doesn't tell enough of a story. What is easy? Is it, getting tradespeople? Is it, getting a wide range of services? I mean, pulling people out of your pocket doesn't actually stand for anything. So I'm not sure there is enough of a curiosity factor here. It's more of a "so what?" factor.
For me, there is a disconnect between the heading and the visual. The headline might be better as: Put a professional in your pocket.
-
Alex Colina commented:
Point taken. New pic up. could you comment?
-
Summary:
Hi Alex,
Well I'm not going to lie, never really thought about real estate too much in my life yet, but then again I'm not even in my 20s yet so that should be expected, so my review can't be as well targeted to your market as I would like.
Let me start off by saying that to me this is a little bit too cliche. Your objective here is very much so straight forward, however you may be losing authenticity by making it so easy. Also, the person in the suit thing screams general attempt from designer that couldn't think outside the box. Its just we all see that particular thing on everything and its been tired for longer then it has been trendy.
Here are some tips on how I think you can come back with a rocking design.
-Study the local real estate scene in your area. You gotta get out there and see what really is inside the heads of your local real estate professionals. What they like in who they hire? What qualities turn them off? You know get into the scene to better understand your market.
-Stay creative. Don't think you can't be outside the box, crazy, and fun with your design just because its a brochure for a real estate hand out purpose. You can still add a little bit of creative flare to make it stand out better.
-Loose the pocket idea. Just really not working. Sorry.
-Remember that color can evoke emotions. Just reminding that sense you are trying to persuade positional customers/clients, a good color scheme and balance can always do wonders in achieving that. Remember to look up some color theory articles. -
Overall, you got an idea for what you want to do with this. Just remember to stay creative. Also, I can't really give strong font selections until I see what your gonna come up with next. This is kinda a general design, so its hard to say which font would really work to perfection here. Hope my comments helped!--
-
Alex Colina commented:
Yea pocket idea is gone.
-
Alex Colina commented:
Ok...New pic up. Not sure if I understood the details of your critique, but I gather that it I was too direct and too easy to understand, the color scheme requires at minimum the learning some basic color theory and the business suit is an overused idiom (cliche) and generally the design is just not creative and lacked basic understanding of my target market.
Hopefully I have addressed these.
P.S. I am enrolling in a color theory class at the local college and will be visiting real estate agencies to chat-up Realtors about their views on the contractor business.
-
Jamal Jackson commented:Potential in the Swiss army knife, but only if you can pull off the needed design improvements necessary for it to work. But it would be really cool like if on each page/section of the brochure you could talk about each service you provide with only the guy that service represents popping out. Like one guy per page/section. Get it?
-
Serious Problem on brochure cover.jpg 1 The ascender in the “h” nearly touches the line above it while there is a large gap between “this” and “easy." In this case, the lines will need to be positioned manually in order to achieve optical balance. With tight leading and an uneven distribution of ascender and descenders, it is not possible to rely on the software’s leading. 2 Scratch on photo? -
Alex Colina commented:
Yes, nasty scratch, actually spells out istock...quite annoying, it forces me to by "un-scratched" version.....
3 There seems to be something on the fingernails. -
Alex Colina commented:
Very CSI
Critical Problem on brochure cover.jpg 1 Is part of this finger missing? New Idea on brochure cover.jpg 1 The third man on the right is distant from the rest of the group and smaller than the others. Can he be brought in closer made the same size as the others? -
Alex Colina commented:
he's shy. I'll talk to him
Summary:
A clever concept that memorably communicates the brochure's message. Yet, there are a number of problems that need to be addressed, which I have noted in "notes."
-
Alex Colina commented:
Thanks so much Tim. memorable and clever is what I was going for. Please note that this is the equivalent of a pencil rough. I just pulled comps from Istock, and very roughly cut out figures etc. There is much, much photo retouching that needs to be done, need to find models that are lit in a more consistent way etc.
Again thanks
-
Rebecca Perry commented:nice review Tim
-
Alex Colina commented:
new pics!. I believe I have addressed some the issues you mentioned. there is also a brand new concept
-
Tim Sullivan commented:I actually like the new pocket version. The new suit seems more real estate like (though if the realtors you are targeting are working in the luxury market—you mentioned in one of your comments that this intended to be uber—then the coat and tie may be too casual.) And the guy on the right seems to have gotten over his shyness!
Yet, I seem to be a lone voice in this opinion, so I'll offer a few comments on the jack knife.
I am trying to imagine myself as a realtor at an event walking past a table with this brochure. I don't know if the image or tag would really grab me. Workmen and a jack knife just don't suggest an immediate connection to real estate to me. And the tag line does nothing to help create that connection.
Maybe a house with a for sale sign in the background would help. Or perhaps have the workmen popping out of windows in a house that is for sale. Changing the tag so it speaks to realtors is essential. Something like "Helping you sell homes is our business" or "We turn problem homes into dream homes."
I'll be looking forward to your next iteration.
-
Critical Problem on swiss-army.jpg 1 I think you mean "More THAN Airconditioning" Summary:
Well it's a start… I agree that the swiss army version is by far the best, but it needs a lot of work to make it work, if ya know what I mean!
I would start by putting the logo on the blue part on the handle and making it white with an inner shadow of #666 270 degrees a 1px (in fireworks)…I would also lose the people ad maybe just have the tools of their trade, or keep the people and just work on the angles and the shadow's and heights…
Overall I like the idea, but the execution needs work!
-
Alex Colina commented:
OMG. in rereading this I just realized you where pulling my leg on account of my description "ROUGH DRAFT. ALL LOW-RES COMP - SLAPPED DOWN LOOSELY. "
when I first read...."making it white with an inner shadow of #666 270 degrees a 1px (in fireworks)..blah..blah..I actually had to learn how to do exact degrees in Photoshop!
Iv'e been Punked!!
HA HA HA HA HA!!!!
-
Summary:
Hey Alex - Looks like Tim caught all the aesthetic issues.
If you hadn't have mentioned that this was to be given out at Real-Estate events, it wouldn't make a whole lot of sense to the average person. But since it's only going to be seen by a targeted market, it make perfect sense.
It's to the point, eye-catching, and smart. :-)
-
Alex Colina commented:
Thanks Rebecca. Yes this is UBER targeted to real estate professionals. Anyone else catching a glimpse of it will be shot. (except CF reviewers of course) (and the printing guys) (and the waiter who just brought my coffee) (everyone else....worm food) (i gotta show this to my mother in law....hmmm)
-
Rebecca Perry commented:
:-)
-
Jamie Linder commented:I love it :) The comments on CF offer such insight into our lives....
-
Alex Colina commented:
Rebecca, please take a look and my new concept. Ya'll said my design (the "s" word) but only you said it so (the other "s" word)ly. Thanks
-
Summary:
The little men are so cute. But I don't want to have to look at the bottom of the page to see the company name. I want to keep looking at the little men. :-)
I think that keeping the 'view' of the little men at a distance is good, because you don't want users concentrating so much on their faces as the effect you're trying to pull off.
I'd like to see the company name below the pocket along with the description of what they do.
All in all, I think you're off to a great start. I rated low in the other two categories because you're not quite finished yet.
-
Alex Colina commented:
I do enjoy looking a little men myself! wait that did not come off right...hmmm.
Anyway, great feedback, I actually came to the same conclusion as you did and on the final (I will post it here shortly) I made sure to have the tagline lead you quickly to the point.
-
Cheryl Vargas commented:Hee-hee! Nope, that didn't come out right! I'm glad I was able to help.
-
Minor Problem review
I think that the swiss army knife graphic is great. I like it a lot. I'm not too sure if i like the other graphics of "contractors in your pocket". I don't know if there is a clear relation in people in your front pocket and "it's this easy".Positive Feature on brochure-cover2.jpg 1 excellent! Summary:
-
Ezequiel Jaime commented:Oh come on! Real feedback please.
-
Alex Colina commented:
Hey..go eze on him Eze! I thinks this guy is a master. Finally somebody acknowledges my genius, what is so wrong with that?
"Excellent" that is his feedback!..do I really need to know why?
Consider this: Perhaps he sides with most in this thread and considers it garbage. From that standpoint we look at "Design" and think: yep, it looks like garbage ...5! usability? well ..crumple and pitch!...5! Strategy: Upon placing one's eye on it one feels like stetting it on fire...5!
If I am wrong, ask Andrey...oh..wait..he will not say much...
-
Aaran Casey commented:I think like so any useless newbie's on this site, they just want to be able post their own crap designs up so that someone with as much skill as the three of us, can tell them that we will not be reviewing their shite design as they didn't bother with giving the same curtesy to us!
-
Jamal Jackson commented:
Why do we even waste our time to comment on these things? I mean they see the effort we put into our feedback continuously, so if they don't get it its really only on them.
We just have to find new ways of combating this to put an end to it, cause reviews like this make me nostalgic for how fun and vibrating the community was a year ago when I joined. If only I was a better designer then, lol. ^_^
-
Ezequiel Jaime commented:
@Alex You're totally right. Next time I will give you my "excellent" ;) @ Jamal and Aaran I think Jamal idea is the best, we should just ignore people doing empty reviews, but they still piss me off I just want to hit them in the eyes with my arrow cursor.
-
Alex Colina commented:
In all honesty, I do see value in a simple grade. Some people are not qualified or are need to get their feet wet, you know..build up to it. It is hard to come into a room full of strangers spouting criticism. Some can, most don't.
To be honestly a lot of times I prefer that (there are UX services that just do that, click like/no like) than the hordes of the blabbering clueless. Consider this: you get two guys with equally zero experience in something and ask them about something you know. One discourses incoherently for minutes, the other says "nope"..... what value is in the former?
I, for example, am probably a lot less help than Andrey. I come here (not so much anymore) for the same reason I go to Facebook to be social and catch up with peers. It is a nice distraction, but not a serious tool, anyone can join there is no peer review, just like me it is whoever passes by. made worse by that fact that you must review to be reviewed whether you are qualified or not, and made even worse by sarcastic snobs like me who make fun of those the did not go on-and-on as I do..in fact I just did! well there is 5 minutes you will never get back! you welcome!
-
Rebecca Perry commented:
there was a time when many of us(and you know who you are), did in fact value CF as a valuable resource for giving and receiving design critique. It's great that we've been able to "connect socially" , but I actually value the reviews & advice you guys have given me. :-)
-
Cheryl Vargas commented:
Wow! Totally glad to be able to jump in as a newbie and comment on this. It took me 24 hours, but I figured out that this site is about give and take. I joined yesterday. 9/8/2011
Trouble is, when you're looking for feedback and Google turns up a resource; you simply follow instructions and do what's necessary to get the results you want---a site review.
A little more delving and you find out that you have to offer something to get something. Unfortunately, after discovering this necessary fact I found that with experts like you guys around, what good is MY opinion to web designers?
So I changed my profile to reflect what I COULD offer.
I imagine that unless CF initiates a more aggressive campaign to educate newbies on the appropriate etiquette, the speed reviews are not likely to desist.
-
Cheryl Vargas commented:
And Alex, you're a stitch! LOL Great points! I feel ya!
-
Alex Colina commented:
@Cheryl: love your profile..I specially like:
..." I'll tell you: Where my eyes go when I land on your site. Where's the first place I want to click. Do I want to click. Why I want to click there. If your site is pretty. If your site is confusing. If it turns me off."
THAT IS FANTASTIC
If every newbie knew that all they need to do is just answer those questions everyone would be happier. The cranky snobs like me, the timid neubs, and even Aaran!! (I think) ;-)
-
Cheryl Vargas commented:
Ah, so you're referring to "CF Utopia", huh? LOL
-
Cheryl Vargas commented:
Ah, so you're referring to "CF Utopia", huh?
Also, after reading YOUR profile, I'm shivering in my boots at the prospect of you reviewing MY site! LOL
-
Interesting feedback. The final picture indeed needs to be considered very carefully. A Real estate professionals must recognize themselves in it. Around here they all dress like CEOs, very dark, very conservative, very stuffy (kind of funny sometimes to see them walking down a street with a family in flip-flops and shorts) yet the styling/fabric of this jacket is very european/young/slick and the lack of tie makes unusable anyway. I'll have to test the final choice with real estate agents. Good point.
But moreover, your point about the connotation of people in pockets is worth plenty of thought.
Again testing an new ideas will be needed.Thanks
P.S. " who would wear a dark, formal suit with a starched white shirt and no tie?"...Mahmoud Ahmadinejad comes to mind ...yeah..not a good image....