ZoomConcept Reviews
Minor Problem This type balance proportionally to the main headline isn't working. Could do with being a bit larger - also that way the navigation could work in itself instead of needing the horizontal rule below to anchor it. Again very small but unbalanced. I generally think having very small headings etc combined with very large bold use of headlines works best when there are lots of headlines and a lot of information to navigate. The type when small visually merges when there is lots of it to become blocks to the eye and it's these blocks which help balance the larger type. But here where there are only a few items, the words could do with being bigger. Positive Feature Love the transparent png logo with the 'E' butting up - maybe would think about extending the pink background to the right a bit more for better visual balance? Would have to see it to see if it looks right. I can see you have matched the space to the right to the space on the top and bottom below the x height and baseline but maybe doubling or tripling the values may help create a better balance for the whole? Really strong focus and love the way the type and image are working together New Idea Have you tried the design without the two horizontal dark rules? I can see how you're using them to contain the design but the image and type are so strong that they contain the area themselves. I always like to take away every part of a design which isn't totally necessary and I'm questioning whether these lines are actually necessary? To simplify even further would think about taking away the type captions and just having square blocks or circles if you want to pick up on your coffee cup circle above - maybe about six of them with crops of your recent work to then click through to. Summary:
Hi there,
Really think you have succeeded in making something clearer without being too bland.
I'd love to see this taken in a really minimal bold direction. The headline and main image work really well. The navigation needs to be a little larger. Have explained above why but in brief. When you see tiny type working well with very large bold uses, it's because there is lots of it and so it merges to the eye into blocks and it's these blocks which balance the larger type. Right now because there isn't very much of the tiny type, it's not really balancing the very large headline.
Anything which isn't totally necessary to the design, I'd like to see removed to make it as minimal as possible so the two horizontal rules may not be necessary if you can make the navigation work to define the area by itself through the white space, size of type and positioning alone.
Hope this helps a bit - look forward to seeing how it goes.
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Emma Simpson commented:I don't mean to get rid of the heading 'Recent Work' - just the captions underneath each separate piece of work. If you feel that potential clients would benefit from the captions, maybe just show them on hover?
Really glad I've been able to help. Bizarrely I find critiquing work really relaxing - helps me wind down at the end of the day even though I spend all blinking day designing and critiquing. I liked the post I saw today on a blog on 50 reasons not to date a graphic designer. One is that we work 24/7 - hahahaha. http://bit.ly/if40bW
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Sammy Elfatrany commented:
HAHA! Thanks for the link- The listening to music people never heard of is so true!
I not only love this site for the helpful individuals, but for the fact that graphic design is something we do from the heart, and its very hard to fake it. Reviewing others work is almost like doing your part in making the word a better place (no i'm not high just trying to sound artsy) haha.
By the way excellent point about the hover; If I am going to be simplistic it wont be necessary to have all the text and highlights in every element.
I shall revise along with your other comments, thanks!
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Sammy Elfatrany commented:
Hi there Emma,
If you get a chance I would love to ask you a question concerning simplicity.
You mentioned how if an element is not completely necessary it should not be required but how about if an element compliments the entire piece?
I am afraid if I remove to many elements I would lose the branding I am trying to create for my site, and other mediums I plan to use in the future.
I would appreciate any comments you have! I respect your expertise.
Thank you, Sammy
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Emma Simpson commented:
Well if the complement is necessary to the function of the whole design then the element is a necessary one. However, I think it's good to question each single element and what it is contributing to the overall design.
All the best, Emma
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Minor Problem on Webpage Bottom.jpg 1 I'm not sure... make the 'c' and 'y' lowercase. Serious Problem the color doesn't look good. It doesn't go well with the header. this need some work. i think you can make it bold and large... Serious Problem on Webpagetop.jpg 1 The shadow isn't appropriate. Is this drop fx->dropshadow? the coffee looks flat, like a sticker. The shadow is kinda sharp and dark, making it appear to be closed to the surface. I'd suggest making a fake shadow using some black circle and just blur it's edges and adjust it opacity. you also need to create another separate shadow for the handle of the cup. Serious Problem on Webpage Bottom.jpg 1 needs some line spacing... it's to close from each other Positive Feature It's really nice. I love this this also looks good with the wood texture Positive Feature on Webpage Bottom.jpg 1 the idea is good. but you need to flair it up. right now it looks bland. Positive Feature on Portfolio Page1.jpg 1 messy.. I think you need to add some grey border around each thumbnail. so it wouldn't clash with each work. or you could add more space in between. when you add borders here, i think you also need to add borders in other pages. New Idea I think this needs some shadow to have a depth. Summary:
Hi Sammy, The current changes looks good now. I though have some observed issues that i think needs some fixing. just see my notes for it.
Goodluck!
Hi Sammy, Your new design is looking great. I like this approach... I hope you can also upload the sub pages of your site. I'm also wondering how your site would look on wider screen resolution. I also attached my suggestion.
goodluck!
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Sammy Elfatrany commented:
Mr. Penn!
Thanks for your help on my previous project! I have been on a bit of a Hiatus since then, but I am back!
I love the grey lines instead of black. Emma brought up the point is it necessary to have them in the first place? I think it is a give and take perhaps if I try them in a soft grat it would work out better.
Excellent header idea with the recent works! I tried it earlier but I guess my sizing did not add up. It looked kind of odd, but yours looks great. I also love the hover being just text based. Great way to be informative and bold without losing focus!
Lots of great comments here, I have to to do!
P.S. The shadow should have been obvious for me but I always miss the obvious things, thanks for pointing it out!
Much love and success Penn, I hope your helpful feedback and the helpful feedback of everyone here will be awarded greatly in your lives!
Sammy
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Sammy Elfatrany commented:
Hey Penn,
I pretty much applied your suggestions and added the portfolio page just now. I want to sort of finalize the template before I start adding more pages. I would appreciate any suggestions you have!
Sammy
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Penn Folio commented:Hi Sammy, Apologize for the late response, I didn't realize you commented. :)
The changes looks good. Although I've seen some area that needs some improvement. I'll just add new notes for it..
Regarding the grey line. Me personally, I'd like to retain the grey lines. I also like it to be stretch out.
Attached Files:
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Minor Problem on Webpagetop.jpg 1 Needs to be a bit larger - it's getting lost (competes for attention with all of the bold typography) Do you really need it? 2 If these are clickable -- you need to add an image like a magnifying glass to each image. Research also indicates that adding text to images helps the more "superficial" visitors click on the images. Positive Feature on Webpagetop.jpg 1 Excellent!!!! Positive Feature on Webpage Bottom.jpg 1 Nice layout Positive Feature on Portfolio Page1.jpg 1 Excellent! New Idea on Portfolio Page2.jpg 1 Once again, if you add a line of text under each image -- it will decrease the amount of visitor mental workload. Notice how effective these examples are (http://patterntap.com/tap/pattern/18865666024da0e5a289029) & (http://patterntap.com/tap/pattern/615977644c48670b4dea8) Summary:
Hi Sammy,
My comment may seem like nits - but overall I think you nailed this concept.
- Explore some approaches to make your gallery images appear more clickable (referred to as Affordance). Notice the subtle information in the uploaded image that makes the images appear more clickable
- Eliminate the logo (top left of landing page). Not entirely certain it is necessary
- Retain the strong typography. It's clearly your differentiator.
I hope this helps.
MichaelR
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Sammy Elfatrany commented:
Thank you Michael!
I have been on a bit of a hiatus once again, freelance workload is becoming a bit much, but I appreciate your time and effort to help me improve this piece!
Excellent comments I think you really nailed it on the head with thinking about how I can dumb things down for the "superficial" users! :)
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Sammy Elfatrany commented:
Just to clarify: you think I should remove the logo? Seems a bit odd for me but I can understand how the logo really gets lost with the tagline, for the landing page at least.
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Michael Rawlins commented:Make bolder or remove. Right now, it is more of a distraction because it has mid-level visual fidelity.
Attached Files:
Summary:
Would of liked to have seen a online version to review much deeper and better. However it looks tidy. Like the 3 recent work boxes, works well with the header. Menu could be better buttons or bigger font size. Just a thought. Defo the menu needs to stand out. Logo is good :)
- Peter
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Sammy Elfatrany commented:
Thanks Peter!
This was my first draft, so I appreciate your comments. I am going to develop it more today and finish up the footer, as well as making the menu stand out a bit more.
I want the navigation to be easy and clear so you bring up a great point!
Thanks again!
Summary:
I was really drawn into the page with all the images. Very visually stimulating, great use of coloration, especially the pink in graphics designer to bring it away from the rest of the content.
Summary:
Hi Sammy,
To be honest, all I can look at is the coffee cup and how good it looks and how much I want coffee right now. Clients aren't going to hire you because you drink a lot of coffee but because of how great a graphic designer you are.
I think you should make your logo (Elfantrany) bigger and like other said, definitely make the navigation bigger. I think you need to also work on color. A helpful website I always use is kuler.adobe.com/.
I also like the wood texture on the other concept and it kinda goes better with the coffee cup. I would change the color of graphic designer.
I think the layout is successful also.
Good Luck :)
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Sammy Elfatrany commented:
Haha! Excellent comment Nora!
I understand that I wont be hired for the simple fact that I love coffee, but one thing I think that is important when representing yourself in a site is to not take away from who you are or what you like. Maybe I am focusing too much on the coffee aspect?
I made a new revision with the logo a bit larger, also worked on the navigation as suggested before.
I know the pink is an odd choice for a website, but I felt so strongly about it for some reason. It also looked great in CMYK. My main focus is simplicity so If I end up not doing the pink, it will have to be another color that brings the same kind of contrast and punch.
Thank you for your comment!
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Nora Demirjian commented:The latest one is better. Well, it was hard to tell if there was a CMYK theme since there wasn't a yellow. Don't get me wrong I love using CMYK but just make obvious cause sometimes people won't pick up on it.
Make Recent Work bigger and now that you took out the bars from each triangle, it blends in with the background. Maybe add borders?
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Sammy Elfatrany commented:
Hey Nora,
I did not mean to say I was designing the site in CMYK. When I did the logo I wanted something vibrant that would look good in print and web together. I went with the pink and started adding red til it looked great when printed.
I plan to carry the logo in invoices, letterheads, business cards, and other form of prints for the clients I deal with. Right now I just send them invoiced emails which I guess is not as profesional.
Anyway, I am kind of on the border about using the border (no pun haha). I tried it and it did not feel as free as I would like the elements on the page to feel.
Thank you for your suggestions/comments!
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Thanks Emma!
I see that you definitely know what you are talking about. If I am going to go the minimal but bold route, I need to make sure any elements not necessary are removed! Excellent point!
I love how you say that the navigation needs to define the area through the white space.
I will try removing captions for my recent work area and feature six instead of three. I just fear that my audience (a lot of non-designer small businesses looking for help) wont realize what the section is.
I know it sounds simple enough but us as designers know that the recent work section is examples of our recent designs. When I asked friends of mine what they thought of my current site, they could not figure what it was about or the purpose of the recent work section.
Anyway, I thank you for your most awesome review! I appreciate your expertise and will work on revisions!
Best,
Sammy