ZoomConcept Reviews
Summary:
It's a nice idea, but if not done with caution can become "kitch". The lines are nice, but I guess the kind of half stroke lines behind/around the letters are not necessary. What will be the other words?
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Josh Jackson commented:
I neglected to answer your question. Words under consideration are typical corporate catchphrases: excellence, trust, teamwork, etc. This pattern would also appear by itself--independent of any typography.
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Aurileide Alves commented:Hello Josh, hope your project works fine. Good luck
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Critical Problem on integrity-upper-case.jpg 1 Doesnt line up and its really bugging me Summary:
really nice job, but I think its too busy.
If this is for a corporate thing, it is pretty tough to read, and having to do the same treatment for many words will be a pain in the ass.
the little half-lines around the letters make it weird to read as well. like its vibrating or something.
I could not do anything like this, I suck at illustrator.
Just focus on readability, and see how it looks with a gradient going through it or something?
Good Luck!
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Josh Jackson commented:
Hi Luke. Thanks for posting a comment. Based on other feedback, I'll likely be getting rid of the outline on the letters. In fact, it's that outline that is causing the T to look unaligned. Removing the outline should correct that issue. Otherwise, because this is a transparent vinyl wall graphic, there won't be any color aside from the lights and shadows of the wall underneath the film. This is being plotted on vinyl that isn't a digital film, but rather plotter film. Thanks again for the suggestions. I may look into a simplified, yet similar, version.
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Critical Problem on integrity-upper-case.jpg 1 Remove, too much. -
Josh Jackson commented:
Once again, good call. I'm thinking perhaps scale it back so that the prominent embellishment is just the N and maybe a few minor things on the other letter. What do you think?
Positive Feature on integrity-upper-case.jpg 1 Keep the stuff coming out of the sides of the I and Y. New Idea on integrity-upper-case.jpg 1 Its too much with this, it should be removed. -
Josh Jackson commented:
One bit of insight here: I have a 20-foot wall to place this on and we were hoping to have some part of the design extend horizontally across a decent portion of it. That's the only recent for the long embellishment. Also, when you walk in the doors to this hallway, you'll see roughly the right half of the design, and we were thinking by extending the design, it would lead the eye as one turns the corner. Anyway, that's what our thought process was at the time.
2 This is okay, but make it only barely go higher than the E. I'm going for a keep everything somewhat closer than what you have. -
Josh Jackson commented:
I agree. And when I looked at how close we plan to place this to the top of the wall, it's likely too tall anyway.
Summary:
Hi Josh,
I honestly do like this design, but not for its indented purpose. Now don't get me wrong I am all for pushing the boundary on art and cooperate identity, but sometimes you gotta take it back.
Heres Some suggestions:
- Tone down the floral integration. I like the connection between the floral swirls and the word Integrity and think you have done a good job design wise here. However, you have overdone it. When it comes to designing something, I always remember the motto less is more. Sometimes you gotta remember to take some steps back and let the work breath more.
- It could become uncomfortable to look at for a long period of time. Its okay now, but on a bigger scale this could cause some issues to someone.
I really don't have anything to say here besides I like, but just turn it down a nod. Hope this helps, Jamal.
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Josh Jackson commented:
Thanks Jamal. Good feedback. I'll give some insight into my thinking on some of this. Obviously with a design like this it's easy to get carried away and easy to do too little. I was hoping I'd found that balance in this design. One reason I had assumed this is because the design will be so subtle on the wall -- transparent, clear vinyl on an off-white wall. However, I'll revisit the design this week and see about cutting back on some of the flourishes. Thanks for the feedback. It's much appreciated.
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Minor Problem on integrity-upper-case.jpg 1 Arc is not consistent 2 Arc not consistent 3 Arc not consistent 4 Arc not consistent Serious Problem on integrity-upper-case.jpg 1 Find the split out of the T over-wrought Summary:
Josh
The basic idea seems to me to be a good one. A technical demonstration of your product using an attractive decoration fits very well. On first glance, the complex floral forms were appropriate. However, the more I look at this, the less i like it. For me, I would find it oppressive at large scale on a wall.
The floral embellishment starts to look like the antennae of giant (ugly) insects after a short time, particularly the semi-symmetric split out of the bottom of the T. I think the problem stems from using the thick and heavy strokes of the type as the starting point of the flourishes. The arcs need to be a lot finer in weight, more restrained.
My suggestion is to completely separate the embellishment from the type. Make a background of ornate floral arcs and flourishes and then find a way to integrate your words within it.
It should still be possible in one colour, if your design is balanced.
Hope this helps.
Summary:
Integrity: an undivided or unbroken completeness or totality with nothing wanting
While the design is visually stimulating there is something lacking in terms of meaning. The embellishments do not lead the viewer to gain further understanding of the word's meaning.
I would like to see your other sketches for the execution of this idea.
If you are going to maintain the idea as flourish, I agree with some of the other posts that you should alter the line work to increase readability.
Summary:
I like th overall concept, but the vines are over powering the words. I would choose a different font or move around the words.
Summary:
Perhaps, a little bit feminine but, no problem with that, i think.
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Josh Jackson commented:
Hi Joao. I was wondering about that being too feminine. Do the sharper, pointier spikes not give it enough masculinity? Thanks for your input.
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Summary:
So... in another career (a lifetime ago) I was a lettering artist, and learned a lot about the art of 'flourishing'.
Please see the following typographers/calligraphers work for inspiration:
- http://www.quillskill.com/frameset/frameset.htm
- http://www.hollydickens.com/logos.html
- http://www.johnstevensdesign.com/index.html
- http://www.georgiadeaver.com/
The key is readability - and striving to enhance the meaning of the word (without complicating it with decoration).
I hope these references help (some of the artists are the best on the planet)
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Aurileide Alves commented:
Michael, you seem to be a man of many talents! Would love to see some of your lettering works.
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Josh Jackson commented:
Hi Michael. Thanks for taking time to post a comment on this project. I'm not sure I understand your intent for posting the links though. Is it merely for sources of inspiration or is the implication that you don't care for the design of the typography concept?
I went back and added this note on my description above. Hopefully it will add a little more clarification. Things to note about this project: There is no theme or strategy necessarily. The objective is to use our vinyl product on various wall graphics and as backdrops to photo walls in some cases. If this concept passes muster, we'll need to keep the same type treatment on the other walls for the sake of consistency. Otherwise, we have carte blanche on developing a coherent design.
I want to re-emphasize this will not be plotted on black vinyl. It will be transparent matte vinyl on off-white walls. I'm not sure if that's causing any confusion or not. Regardless, thanks for the input, and I'll be sure to check out those links.
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Michael Rawlins commented:if you checkout the links - you will get my point
Hello Aurileide. Thanks for commenting on this project. I see what you mean by the design possibly becoming too kitschy, and I think in this instance that's OK. Our objective, if there really is one, is to plot out a design and show the vinyl in use. We're not out to redecorate the interior design of the building or anything, and I apologize if perhaps I have given that impression.
I think you may be right on the half strokes around the letters. I could probably do without those since there is so much other detail going on. Thanks again for your input.