Great start Jamal, once you start it just takes practice and some good feedback to take it from Good to Great!
Below are some of my response, I hope they help:
• Why the number 5? If the quote was "Fall down 7 times. Get up *" I would get a number - but here I don't understand. If you like doing the collage of different texts you can center them and have them create an abstract shape, not a specific number.
• Use words that better relate to failure and challenge and success in your word collage.
• Make the quote more prominent and DEFINITELY drop the gradient on it :)
Best, Kayvan
Well that makes sense bud.
| Minor Problem on typeography-sample.jpg | |
| 1 | solid color - don't compete with such an effective image on the left |
I like it a lot. It's a great idea to have this Gestalt concept to create a shape like that. The color effect is also cool, specially because you used red and green mainly.
Just one question: why the commas? Was that said by anyone important? A poet? A writer? Who? If it is your idea, your sentence, I suggest you take that commas out. They create a little unecessary noise!
the main thing is so cool!! Good job!
Thanks Aurileide.
The quote in their is something I came up with a long time ago, and it just stuck with me.
Thanks for the advice and suggestions, Jamal
| Minor Problem on typeography-sample.jpg | |
| 1 | Have you considered using a similar shade of yellow or yellow-orange here? I think a yellow/gold color would balance the composition better.
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Jamal: Great job. I did a similar typographic treatment for a magazine a year or so ago, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. You have a great start here: subtle background texture; strong typography constructing the 5. Other than changing the color on the quote text at right, I think this design works well. I will second one of the other opinions and ask who said the quote? Maybe consider a smaller tagline with their name set flush right.
Thanks Josh, the quote is something I came up with a while back, and it just stuck with me. Good suggestions, Thanks
Jamal
I like the design, the colors, everything about it, nice job, to bad it's not a payed job :), you would have made some good money out of this ...
Thanks Ionut. I was actually thinking about turning this design into a t shirt, minus the quote of course.
Very eye catching. If you do put it on a tshirt maybe Maybe include the quote below over two lines?
Looks good! keep experimenting, I'll come back to check it out for inspirations :)))
Thanks Anna!
Hi Kayvanm,
The 5 represents my freelane brand, Five Alarm Interactive, and every word in it is how I feel best describe myself and my brand. It also includes all the things that my brand does, and includes the year I started(2008). Also, the word failure in the work is based off my brands name. Five Alarm Interactive, FAI, and the first three words in failure are fai. Hence I spelled it like faiLURE. The text for my logo are a lowercase f, a, and i.
Thanks for your feedback.